Dissipate
by Blooknaburg
Summary: When we fight do we ever really go anywhere? Do we even really fight about anything? Spike and Faye flesh out how they feel about each other.
1. Creature

I'm currently experimenting with different writing styles and techniques, etc to learn more. LIGATF is currently on hold for all this. Sorry. --;

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop.

Thoughts are in _italics_.

Chapter One:

**Creature**

"Where did you go?"

His eyes refused her breath so she held it.

"Away."

"Where?"

"Why do you care!" he knew, he knew. But there was a block there. They weren't meant for each other that way. They were opposite ends of a magnet. They could never really touch. Somewhere deep inside them, both denied it, even though she thought she knew, and he was unsure of everything.  

"Because!" _Crazy dreams drive people to crazy things,_ she thought.

He felt so childish. "That's not a reason," he said softly as a cynical smirk moved over his lips. When you got down to it, he hadn't really left for any other reason than because. Because that's how it was. 

And this is how it is. 

"It was reason enough for you!" she shouted back. Spike hadn't realized they were shouting. The cacophony marched in his head, out his ears and eyes as he steadied himself for several seconds, and silence settled down. He refused to be done with her. It didn't feel done. _Maybe it won't ever be_, he thought grimly.

He wanted to respond negatively, to make Faye's statement false, but really he couldn't, it wasn't. That was what he felt he had to do then, and now he felt differently. He couldn't help that. 

"It's my life. I can _do _whatever I want," he spat quietly, with emphasis on do. He wasn't married to her, she wasn't his mother, she was just…just what he didn't know. 

"Yes. You can," she responded. Suddenly she wanted to retrieve the broken pieces of her anger that she had thrown at him. She felt deflated, and worth less. Were all of her emotions in vain? Could she put her heart and mind into an endeavor and come out the victor? Bring someone to see her point? Obviously not. She frowned and her eyebrows mimicked the movement of her lips. "Jackass," she muttered. It didn't matter. She'd make him see. It had to get worse before it could get better.

"Me?" was all he could respond with. It wasn't indignant, just questioning. He wasn't sure why he deserved all of her anger and spite. He knew why she cared, so shouldn't she have been happy to see him? Sure, angry a bit, but not as pissed off as she was. 

_She's so extreme,_ He thought he'd never understand. 

She breathed in deeply. "Yes," and walked away. _I need to sleep on this. _

The thought never wandered her mind that he might leave tomorrow and not be around, or that the circumstances and atmosphere would be different. She went to bed with the intention of confronting him again the next evening.

Evenings and nights seemed to be their time. Mornings and days were meant for other things, like napping, eating, lounging, teasing, hunting, semi normal activities. When the sun dipped below the horizon was when the gloves and masks came off. Anger prowled the ship waiting to bite. 

Spike watched her go and then went his own way. 

Unsaid, was the unconscious agreement to be there tomorrow, to rehash old feelings, and yell about old deeds. 

NFA: I am a bit unsure of this one so please give me some feedback!  
Please Review!


	2. Air

Thank you **faye-faye14**! There will be the rest of this fic and the rest of my other one. :) **DragonLady4**, thank you! You helped me assure myself I wasn't completely off the board. **authenticpoppy**! It's set after the series, buuut…it can be whenever you want it to be. Thanks for the comments you helped me straighten out the last chapter a bit. :)  I love your fic, but I haven't reviewed it because I'm a spooty head.

All of the reviews made me so warm and squishy inside! Thank you everybody! 

Wow, wow. I was so unprepared for such a response! Thank you so much! I am afraid to post this chapter because I'm afraid I'll disappoint all of you wonderful people! Edited the last chapter, just some little tweaks here and there. 

Disclaimer: I do not own cowboy Bebop.

Thoughts are in _italics_.

Chapter Two:

**Air**

Spike watched Faye move across the control room. Without knowing it they had looked for each other, and finding nothing everywhere else, converged on the same room. She touched the glass with two fingertips of her right hand and watched as Mars moved slowly away. 

It had been a relatively calm day. Jet was a grump, so they had banned together in search of cheap foods. Camaraderie. What a wonderful thing. 

_It wasn't supposed to be so easy, _she thought. With their eyes, and words with thin veneer, he had given back her anger whole, and she had forgiven him. She had been prepared to fight him tooth and nail, to dig the hole deeper. 

"You're still a jackass," she mumbled around the cigarette she had just placed between her lips. Cupping a hand around her cig and lighter she turned her head to watch him move from the shadows and the lighter flicked and her hand glowed briefly.

_Like magic_, he thought. _Easy_. Things that had been as big as what was between them weren't supposed to dissipate over cheap noodles. It was too easy. Too anticlimactic. 

Ironically, he wondered if his entire life was one unsatisfying anticlimax. 

He pulled out a cigarette of his own and bent forward slightly to light it off hers. They stood poised, their cigarettes the bridge between their worlds, as his cigarette flared and he straightened up slowly. They exhaled simultaneously. It felt as if that exhalation breathed out all of their doubts and the last edges of red anger seeped away. 

All except one in his mind. Her. There was still one thing unresolved. Her feelings for him. He was fine with them being partners in crime, comrades, friends even. But not ready, probably never for feelings as deep as she felt for him. He didn't feel them back he supposed. He was still unbalanced and shaken a year and a half after. He was trying to adjust in his new situation, or lack of it. Still trying to find out how to feel. 

"Do you love me?" he wanted to be sure. 

"Does it matter?" she asked and his eyebrows moved a fraction up.

"No."

She winked at him. "Goodnight cowboy," and moved away down the stairs. He sighed and looked again at the receding red planet_.  Receding, just like my troubles_. Or were they just beginning?

NFA: struggles Auug, it sucked didn't it? Don't chop me into pieces! 

More next Sunday if my teachers don't crush me under things to study for finals.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Early

Look, it's more! Thanks **red-tenko**! Thank you for reviewing again **faye-faye14**! squish Woo! Thank you so much **Shikhee**! Don't expect too much of me, **Moonwhisper**. Thank you! Thanks, **redeve**! I'm glad you thought that the ending was Faye-like. I try to end each chapter in a semi-interesting way.

All the reviews made my day! I'm so glad this story seems to be not bad and be interesting and entertaining! I'm trying really hard to do well at my first really serious fic, so I'm so glad everyone seems to approve.

I'm not very happy with this chapter. It started off in an odd way, but eventually went where I wanted it sorta. Things should get going a bit more in the coming chapters.

I'm sick and coughing up bits of lung here and there, but school is out! Woot! In fact I'm vacationing right now at Myrtle Beach (the water is great, come on in)!

So if I don't start back up on the one chapter a week thing, you have permission to beat me with a stick.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop.

Thoughts are in _italics_.

Chapter Three:

**Early**

Spike sat up out of bed and scratched his scalp. He stood and stretched. As he moved down towards the kitchen area his hand moved, not unlike an ape, and scratched his ribs. He walked up the short flight of stairs and peeked just around the corner to see if someone was in the kitchen. He didn't feel like being in contact with any humans just yet.

And there Faye was liberally spooning sugar into her coffee mug, stirring and staring thoughtfully into its black saccharine depths. He grimaced, "I don't understand how you can drink your coffee that way," he frowned at himself for not keeping quiet. If he could have stayed quiet he could have waited a couple minutes and had his coffee in peace. But no. He sighed slightly as she looked up at him and frowned back.

"The spoon stands straight up in your coffee," she said flatly. She reached to the side and plopped the coffee pot down in front of him. She turned around to rummage through the space under the counter.

Spike's eyes flicked from Faye's yellow starred behind to her coffee cup which he spun and lifted to his nose to sniff. "Did you get those from Ed?" he asked her as he contemplated taking a sip. He wasn't quite sure. A cup of coffee was very personal. It was someone else's. It also said a lot about a person. She sighed heavily and said, "Yes, all of my clothes are washing," her head still under the counter, "Damn. Where'd it go?" she asked herself.

Spike pursed his lips not took a quick sip, "Shit." he gasped, his tongue escaping his mouth comically. _Ew!! _Spike shuddered.

"Hey!" Faye exclaimed as she stood up with a mug for Spike and caught him with his tongue out and her mug in his hand. "Now it's contaminated," she pouted, taking her mug back. Spike smirked slightly and poured coffee into his cup and took a gulp. When he opened his eyes and lowered the mug, he caught Faye watching him discreetly as she sipped her coffee.

He sighed inwardly, and looked down at his coffee. "What, no thank you?" Faye asked, as Spike turned and walked down into the common room.

"Thanks," he called up to her.

She sighed as she watched him sit and empty his cup. He'd want more, then realize how far from the kitchen he was, and be too lazy to get more, and go back to sleep. Faye hopped up on the counter, poured herself a little more coffee, and added more sugar. She absently placed the pot back in the unit so it would stay hot. When she was finished she craned her head around to look at Spike sleeping on the couch with his empty mug on this chest. She contemplated hopping off the counter, bringing the pot with her, and refilling his mug.

She wanted to. Because she liked him or because she wanted to be helpful, she didn't know.

Spike wanted her to bring him some more coffee. He heard her butt make a squeaky noise she twisted around on the smooth countertop to look at him. He stayed still pretending to sleep. He could almost head the gears turning in her head.

She frowned and got off the counter. She decided not to bring him a re-fill. She made sure the coffee maker would stay hot for a while longer in case he wanted more enough to get up for it..

They weren't ready for that.

NFA: Well, I hope this one didn't suck big hairy elephant feet.

Join me again in 1,200 miles for the next installment of …this story, which I might change the name of! PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Search

Want to apologize for the long wait. And after I promised. gives readers the promised stick   
I just got kinda caught up in summer and visiting my Mom and all.

**Katie**, there may be slight fluff…forecast for sometime…thanks! **Pimpin**** Satan**!! glomp Yay, you liked it, and most definitely finishing this one. I am planning to finish the other one…eventually. Like right after this one…or sooner. I cannot let the MASTER PLAN go unwritten. **Fallenangel26**, of course I remember you! I'm glad you like it. I'll try not to disappoint on the A.S.A.P. part next time.   Thank you, **Kajouka**! I was all warm and squishy when I saw your review. It also reminded me to check the last chapter again. Woo-hoo! **Rashaka**, you like it! I'm glad to not be doing too badly at this whole short thing. : ) Thanks, **Samantha**! I had behavior down last chapter. Thank you! I agree, **Sarah**. Those type, well I just can't believe…and I want to believe what I read…and I don't think I have enough sap running through my veins to write one of those anyway. O.o  
  
Thank you everybody. I was so psyched to see all of the response the last chapter got. Chapter three has been edited, now let's see how this one goes. Very nervous again. I have a sentence inspired by **milkdrunk**, and her generous use of parentheses, now that I think of it. She's neato keeno, go check her out.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop.  
  
Thoughts are in _italics_.

Chapter Four:

**Search**

He concentrated solely on the cold can of beer almost clenched in his left palm. He concentrated on feeling his hand go numb. The fridge was usually empty but whatever was in there stayed cold. He imagined the pads of his fingers and his palm separately from the back of his hand and his wrist.

Then he switched concentration from the cold slab of can in his left hand to the dry papery cigarette, also clenched, but between two fingers, of his right hand. He put the stick to his lips and inhaled deeply concentrating on the sound of the dry paper crackling as it burned and the ax-like smell of the smoke and how it cut the air.

He concentrated on the cig as if it were his first.

He hadn't really noticed the difference between air and smoky air. And there was definitely a difference. He had been so uncomfortable breathing the normal air because it smelled faintly _good_ and sort of_ warm_. But now that he was smoking intensely and holding the cold can he didn't feel the warmth or smell that smell, _Thank God. _

He didn't want to.   
  
Well, he didn't mind the smell, just who it came from.

He didn't really want to notice so intensely the person that smell and that body heat came from. She had a crush on him, so what? He wasn't…crushing back. Most definitely not. He doubted he could (simultaneously wondering what it would be like).   
  
It was then he realized that she had left the room since he'd zoned out at the TV trying to get some control over himself. Not that he lost any.

He was just having a silent internal earthquake.

Yea, things were good.

He berated himself for making such a big deal over it, her, sitting on the end of the yellow couch…the way she had been.

The TV clicked off suddenly and he was aware of the stub of his cigarette between his lips and a small sprinkling of ashes down his chest. Examining the vise-like grip he had on the remote, Spike carefully studied his hand as he gently released it to bounce and settle on the couch.

He was suddenly very grateful for the silence.

He needed to relax and think a little.

Feeling the need to ask Faye some more questions propelled him to his feet. Then he wondered exactly what he would ask and that brought him to a halt. Spike put down the unopened can to think better. He felt ridiculously in need of assurance he didn't _want _to need.

NFA: Well, I feel like I really lost it this chapter. Like, everything.  If you made it to the note from the author I am proud of your strong constitution.  Sorry this was crap guys. I'm beginning chapter five immediately while I'm on a roll. PLEASE REVIEW.


	5. Rising

Thanks, **Bridgidforest**! I really enjoy trying to write things like that. I'm glad you enjoyed it. **  Pimpin**** Satan**, I guess you'll just have to wait and see wont you? :) Thank you, **authenticpoppy**. That was _exactly _the kick in the pants I needed to get on track about this thing. Thank you mucho!Lol, thanks for your support **Cowgirl13**. I always know I can depend on you! Wow, thanks, **Captain Scarlet penguin keeper**! I like your penname by the way. :) Thank you,** Nis-chan**!**   Rashaka**. I :heart: you too! glomp Thank you!Thanks so much,** kenzier**!!

I was so warm and squishy after I saw all of your comments. :) They all helped me to get back on track with this story. I know exactly how this is going, so I can try and work on making it better now.

Edited all of the chapters so far again. It's probably kinda sad I edit them all the time but its better than never doing it more than just the few times I do before I put it up because we know how well _that_ works.

Um…

I've never had a beta before…does someone…wanna maybe help me?

Anyways! On with the chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop.

Thoughts are in _italics_.

Chapter Five:

**Rising**

She wasn't getting worked up about this.

She wasn't even thinking about him.

Five minutes earlier Faye had been sitting on the couch filing her nails and watching TV. With Spike.

Actually, she had wanted to watch Spike, but had deemed herself above it. He wasn't so handsome that she needed to be staring at him constantly.

Faye let herself fall backwards into her bed and lay there in darkness.

That was something that unnerved her about space. It could technically be 'daytime' according to the ship's clock, but it always seemed so dark. In space, and in the ship. Especially being so far from the sun as they were now. Although it didn't help that she never turned on her light.

_Dark like my heart_, she thought, and then laughed softly to herself. _Damn, I'm so dramatic._ Faye smiled wryly to herself.

Gently rubbing a crease in her sheets between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand Faye wondered if her…crush would ever go away. How was one to really know that sort of thing? She wondered if the wrinkled raisin feeling in her chest would ever lessen. Absently her thoughts turned from herself to the sheet between her fingers. Faye remembered how the sheets on her bed at home had felt. The sheets on this bed felt less…real. They felt more synthetic. Like they weren't made of cotton or linen or anything at all. _Probably plastic_, Faye mused. _Fake_.

She really wanted to stop analyzing their relationship. Or lack thereof because it wasn't going anywhere. Going absolutely nowhere on a ship cruising through space. She wanted to stop this one-sided affair, and become involved in something profitable, at the very least, to herself. This crush wasn't doing anything for anybody.

Faye wanted out of this rut. She wanted to be out and about, scamming people and gambling, she wanted to be confident, walking the streets and commanding the attention of all, instead of trying and failing miserably to get the attention of one man.

How wrong she was.

Spike paced idly outside of Faye's door. This was not the type of thing he did. Usually he just knew. This time only Faye knew.

While Spike paced outside Faye's door, uncertain of what to do, Faye was putting on her boots and tying her red sweater.   She stood and stretched her arms above her head. She was going to go out and have a good time. She was determined. Checking her gun before putting it away in the folds of her sweater, Faye climbed up onto her small nightstand (actually a small rickety table), and began delicately unscrewing the pre-loosened screws in the four corners of the vent in the ceiling with her thumbnail.

Just as the last screw dropped into her palm Faye's door opened and she jerked in surprise. Her hand slipped off the vent cover and it bounced off her left arm as she toppled sideways off the stand and onto her bed.

A roll of woolongs fell out of the hole in the ceiling and bounced off Faye's calf, scattering woolongs and a cashcard on to the bed and floor.

Spike blinked. "Faye, are you ok?"

NFA: Oki doki, folks. I feel pretty alright about this chapter and I hope you liked it. :) Later Kiddies!

PLEASE REVIEW.


	6. Sunset

Thanks, **aunthenticpoppy**. I am so glad you liked it and enjoyed Faye falling. : ) Thank you, **krysalys73**! Don't worry, they will! Thank you, **Kendra Luehr** for reviewing all five chapters:D Thanks, **demonicgirl**! Wow, **monotask007**, thanks for the review! I admire all of your fics so much. My jaw kinda hung open when I found your review in my inbox. Yay, **Kyra1**! You're back, sorta! I missed you and squeed when I saw your review! Thank you! I've tried really hard, though sometimes I look back at Dissipated and LIGATF and think, "Geeze, who wrote that?" in good and bad ways. I'm glad I've got people hooked, let's hope I can keep it going. : ) (P.S. Update your fics! Pleeaaseee? ;;) **Pimpin Satan**, plan in action. Thank you! I will finish! Begging not required, but I feel loved. : ) Thanks for the review,** mitora** **jesus-freak**! And thank you mucho to **Nis-chan**!

Okay, well. Um.

I hope I haven't gotten too far away from the original feel of this fic. I hope this is an okay chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop.

Thoughts are in _Italics_.

Chapter Six:

**Sunset**

Spike was vaguely surprised and quite amused at the scene that played when he had opened Faye's door.

She had obviously been up to something that she didn't want anybody else (him) to know about. For a fraction of a second his mind panicked when she toppled off the table, but the panic was gone just as long after.

Faye lay slightly stunned on her bed staring at the thing she had been planning to run from. Her mouth opened to say something, but she couldn't think of anything so her mouth curled into a sheepish smile and she said, "Hi," rather loudly.

Spike had bent forward slightly at the waist, putting his head into the room without being in it. He took her smile and greeting as permission and stepped in. "Hi," he responded and paused. "What are you up to?"

She blinked at Spike as he stepped into her room framed by the light of the hallway. "Up…to?" she blinked. "Up..Oh!" Faye suddenly remembered why she had been standing on her nightstand and the cash all over her legs, bed, and floor. "Nothing, nothing, at all!" she denied hurriedly as she scrambled to a sitting position. Spike raised an eyebrow at her.

Faye flushed and her voice was slightly higher than normal as she cried, "Nothing!" again more forcefully and glared at him while grabbing at the money everywhere and trying to not look away from him.

There was silence for the few seconds Faye spent gathering her cash.

She froze when she had gotten it all between her hands, which were suddenly slightly damp and looked up at Spike.

"So, can I come with?" Spike asked as Faye noticed she was sitting on her cred card.

That snapped Faye out of her Spike induced trance, "What? No!"

"Why not?" He smiled smugly at her red face and slightly puffed and indignant cheeks.

Faye stood up forgetting about the cred card and glared at Spike. "Because!"

His smirk grew, "That's not a reason."

Faye went white and then flushed again, _What? Aargh!_ "Of course it is! You can't come I'm going to…" she paused, "shop!"

Spike lit up, "For food?"

"No."

"Oh…for clothes or for better race tracks?" he asked superciliously

"Maybe."

"You should buy some food. We're out of beer."

"What?" Faye shrieked. "But there were four in there this morning!"

"I drank them."

Faye growled and pushed past him out of her room. This was not going as planned. _Why did he have to just…pop in? This was supposed to be a clean getaway._ She stomped down the hallway into the common room and down to the hangar.

Spike watched her stomp away and then glanced back into her room, his eyes catching on the cred card on Faye's bed. He walked slowly forward and picked it up with his right hand. It was warm.

Spike pocketed the card and followed Faye to the hangar. He thought about having a smoke.

Faye muttered as she climbed into Redtail, berating herself for losing her composure in front of Spike. Then she berated her self for caring about her composure at all.

Just as Faye prepared to close her door and begin take off Spike entered the hangar.

He had decided not to let her get away and whistled sharply at Faye in her ship and called her name.

She was irritated by his continued presence while her heart skipped at his use of her name. One eyebrow went up and one corner of her mouth jerked down as she turned to look at Spike.

He smiled at her face and called, "You forgot this," he held the card up with his right hand between two fingers.

Faye looked away and down in thought. Her face quickly became defeated and she closed her eyes and sighed, "Come on. Bring it," she called back to him.

Faint laughter reached her as she moved to close the hatch. "Shut up!" she yelled angrily. More laughter answered her.

She powered up and took off, Spike following behind.

NFA: Okay, chapter six. Hope its okay. I will probably edit it immensely later, but I couldn't hold it back a moment later once I finished it. I'm kinda impatient. Lemme know how it is even if you think you'll have to make me cry.

PLEASE REVIEW.


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